What Am I Doing Here?!

Today I was asked a question which many people have asked me recently, 'What are you doing in Estonia?' I'm always amazed by how difficult I find this question to answer. I know what I want my answer to be, and that is something impressive. The truth of the matter is that I don't often believe that what God is calling me to is significant enough to fulfil me, and more importantly, to warrant giving up my life in England to move here. If I tell the truth then people are going to think I'm mad, or lazy, or both! However, I truly believe that God has called me to Estonia as it's been on my heart for years and when the time was right He opened a door for me to come here. So, what is my problem? Why isn't the stuff that God has given me a good enough answer? I think it boils down to who I want the approval of. I want people to approve. However, the only person I have to please is God. In the book The Heart of Worship Files, Matt Redman wrote something that blew me away...

Sometimes it can be tempting to strive to do something significant. We find ourselves wanting to write a significant song that will touch many hearts or lead a significant time of worship in which lives are truly changed. But we are not called to significance. Instead, the calling is to obedience. Look through the Bible and see how obedience reaps some major, significant outcomes. Look at Moses or Noah for example. Ultimately, look at Jesus and the Cross. The most significant act in all of history was one of sheer, humble, enduring obedience.

If we truly want to serve God, do his will and follow his guidance, then we should only care about pleasing him. That's not to say that the opinions of others aren't important, as we need other people to help us be better. But we need to learn to hear God's voice and follow his instruction, for his glory only, not for our own significance. We 'simply' need too do as we're told. When we try to be significant instead of obedient, we try to take some of God's glory. What a terrible thought!

Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

1 Corinthians 1:31

The need to write

So, I felt like I should start writing. I'm not sure what I'm going to write or to whom I'm going to write it. I'm not good at keeping these things going either, but I feel like I should do this so, here goes...